You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
