Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize