Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
