I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
