chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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