I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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