She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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