I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
