You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
