How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
