Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
