She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
