I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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