i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
