Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
