I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We talked him into tasing himself.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Im part way to drunk.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
