i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
