What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
