u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
