im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
