batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
