I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
