2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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