he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
