Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
