Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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