I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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