Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
