I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There r osticjed everywhere
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
