don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
