C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
