she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
