Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
