I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think a kid would responsible me up
You made out with two different species that night
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize