some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
