Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
