Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
