I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
are you so shy because you have an std?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
not ubering you a puppy
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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