I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
