I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize