Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
