Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
