I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
