physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
