Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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