I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
as a side note pls kill me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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