I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
