no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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