try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize