I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
