i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
