If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
did i just pee glitter
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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