you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
