he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
