In the future we'll all be gay
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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