Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
