dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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