Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
