i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
