: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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