at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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