wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
