its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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