He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
