So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
