I have demons in me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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