i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
