my mouth tastes like poor choices
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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