the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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