he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize