we're blogging at a bar
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize