No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
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