He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
