I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
