i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
