i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we made out on top of his cat.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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