Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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