Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
