I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
