Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
